Thursday 29 September 2011

Stepping Stones

Regardless of how long an engagement you have, or how lavish and involved the affair it culminates in, it is inevitable that the months and weeks leading up to the big day are going to be filled with The Wedding. When you eat, sleep, breathe, work, watch the latest Big HBO Thing Everyone Is Watching, it is probable that your thoughts are going to stray to some aspect of planning, logistics or related emotional turmoil/excitement.

I hesitate to say it takes over your life, but, well. It's definitely there.

So what happens when it stops?

Suddenly, you have space.

For me, space is not always a good thing. Not when it pops up suddenly because something lovely has ended. So it's useful to find things to bridge the gap.

Stepping stones. Things to look forward to. Not wedding-sized things (you've had enough stress for one year), but definitely more Life Stuff. You've created all this events manager momentum in your brain, and now you have time to capitalise on your new found organisational skills.

This is what Penny did next:


This bit is very important if future ventures are to be successful. Our wedding day (and the week leading up to it) was more physically and emotionally exhausting than we ever imagined. Immediately after the wedding we went away for three days to North Yorkshire for a short break. We ended up in bed by 9:30pm most nights, not for sexy reasons, but because neither of us could keep our eyes open without matchsticks in them. Rest is critical for the effective application of any endeavours following your wedding, so get that done first. Please. Before you collapse.


 The minute I got back, I threw myself into every aspect of my business I had neglected during our 5 months of wedding madness. Flyers got made, new classes got arranged, new work taken on. Filling the void with productive, important stuff is useful, and much better than gazing wistfully at your pictures for months on end (although I definitely did a lot of that too).


We postponed the honeymoon for a few months because we had a registry, and so couldn't even book anything until a few weeks after the wedding. This delay was actually brilliant, because it gave us another two months of planning, research and getting very excited about going to New York. But then we came back (and had a much worse comedown than after the wedding) so it was time for....


Some people get married and then satisfy their broody urges by having a baby (I know! Madness!). Not if you're crazy cat people like us -  you just get another kitten. Spooky is even better than a wedding. Spooky is better  than everything. Apart from Granville, who we love equally, or possibly even more now he does that grumpy face when she's playing near him.

So there we have it.

Next on the list: de-cluttering the house (following in the footsteps of the lovely Kirsty), painting the dining room a roaring deep red, doing wedding crafts for friends' nuptials, and redeeming one of the most triumphant wedding gifts ever given - our December trip to All Tomorrow's Parties.

I guess this is what being married (and life in general) is about - keeping the fun/busy quota up so you're always engaging with something, always having something to look forward to, thereby making the difficult or boring bits easier to deal with. Not only is bonding over shared projects really lovely when you're still in that newly-wed fuzzy wuzzy bubble land, but every step you take together is another step in defining what your marriage is, and what it means to be on your team.

Go on.

Knock through that fireplace.

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