Pen-ometer

Morning campers! How was your weekend? I forgot we like these hot-or-not things, so here's one:

COOL BEANS:

 The Bridge

BBC4's latest Scandi-crime-romp-that-begins-with-a-mysterious-and-gruesome-murder-and-features-a-lady-detective-who-has-zero-social-skills. Covetable knitwear count: zero. Bad hair day count: sky-high - it's only the frazzled Danish detective who doesn't make me want to attack the television with a hairbrush and some dry shampoo. Naturally, the programme is excellent.

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Coffee

The last two weekends have involved buying proper cups of coffee from proper coffee shops (including the awesome Laynes Espresso). Coffee is the new beer, especially when you're a busy lady who needs to shop for wedding dresses on a hangover/ stay awake for a slightly rubbish horror film after a spin class. Sadly, our household is now on financial lockdown until we can find a new lodger, so I've had to turn to the kitchen cupboards to create my own lunatic rocket fuel, generally involving throwing things like cinnamon into a very strong cup of Douwe Egberts to get me to the end of my next deadline. Vanilla and cinnamon seem to work well. Coffee snobbery is an affectation I plan to develop when I'm finally wealthy enough to invest in the right tools.

Kenzo designed this one! So bizarre.

 Power Plates

These wibbly wobbly boards are currently having a renaissance with me, due to my being too ridiculously busy to have a workout of longer than 30 minutes in the week (that I'm not teaching myself, anyway). You can slag off these things all you want, fitness industry, when used correctly they work. I'm doing 30 minutes of 30 second intervals and it's completely brutal. Admittedly having a masochistic will of steel, a mental encyclopaedia of exercises that comes from having taught Power Plate classes for a year and drinking a large cup of strong coffee (see above) before going to the gym are all useful to get good results.

Now for the bad and the ugly....

SHIT SAUSAGE:

The Cribs

Nothing to do with their music, more to do with the fact that they asked my husband's old band to reform specifically to support them at Wakefield theatre, then booked the gig on a Wednesday.  Don't the people who organise these things know I teach Aerockbics on a Wednesday? I am beyond devastated to miss the return of the late, great Retarded Fish, playing in such an ace venue, supporting a band so cool they actually have a song on the OK Karaoke playlist. This is why, every now and again, running your own business sucks bottoms (see also: not being allowed to be ill, ever).

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Talent Shows 

It's not the talent shows themselves that I hate, it's more the fact that I always seem to get suckered into watching them. I'm letting Britain's Got Talent off just because I bloody love that dog. Look at his little smooshy face! However. All the contestants on the Voice need to stop dicking around and sing the proper notes. Apart from Ruth Brown, who I'm letting off for her excellent style and the fact that she played the drums in the rehearsal VT and.... oh....see? Suckered.
.

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No Lodger

Currently the cause of cancelling every social engagement not already paid for (thanking my stars I already have Sharon Van Etten tickets for next weekend) and having to put things back on the shelves in the supermarket that aren't entirely essential. I'm like a reprimanded toddler, but one who is constantly reprimanding itself, resulting in a stern/tantrum cycle that's making me feel vaguely schizophrenic. If you know anybody who is lovely and needs somewhere to live in Leeds, let me know. We're really nice, the rent is cheap, and the room is huge and beautiful.