Wednesday 18 January 2012

Pen-ometer

What is it about those "The Measure" and "Hot Or Not" things you get in magazines? They're complete crap but I always read them. Then I get irate about them, because I don't see why anybody should get to say what's hot or not, and isn't that a bit pompous of them, and why should I bloody well listen anyway? Then I start to question my whole existence for ten seconds, before turning the page to read Hoop Of Horror.

Anyway, I'm doing one. Primarily so you can read it and think "why should I care about what's hot or not?" and "what the bleeding hell does she know, anyway?" and then go off and read something that will expand your brain. Go on. Leave now, before it gets ugly.

P-Fabulous:
 top cats!

The Sopranos: I can't believe it has taken me until now to start watching this bloody marvellous programme. And now we are only five episodes from the end of the last season (no spoilers!). I don't want it to stop. Is it the best thing that has ever been on television? I can't think of a more consistently excellent drama series. Even the slightly cringey dream sequences have this kind of Lynchian quality that lets me convince myself it's all arty (the big angry dog is his anger....ahhhh). Even when, in the last episode I watched, one character asks the other "what are you thinking?" which is lazy and a cardinal sin of scriptwriting, I shrugged my shoulders and believed it was what the character actually felt. In all honesty, the Sopranos could borrow my best dress and spill red wine on it and I wouldn't care. What on earth will I watch next? It can't be followed. It can't it can't it can't.

m83: Finally going to see them on Friday night. It will be full of hipsters and students. I DON'T EVEN CARE. If you've never heard them before listen to this. It's flimsy and tries very hard to be euphoric and 80s. Yeahhh, lovely stuff.

@thepeopleofleeds: awesome community project based on the @sweden Twitter account, where a different local takes the reins each week to provide a snapshot of life in the city. Excitement- I am taking part in this later in the year. Am going to try very hard not to swear.

Extremely Good Parties: It is now a mere 38 days until the Pen Do! 38 DAYS!!! What are we singing, ladies?

 P-Ffffft:
must try harder
 

Golden Globes Fashion: the only thing that would have cut through the poofy haired, fish-tailed tedium would have been a sharp-suited lady with a slicked back crop. And it didn't happen. Even Tilda Swinton looked frumpy. More effort required.

De-icing things: Locks, windows, cats, toes. It takes ages and I'd rather have an extra 15 minutes in bed. I have taken to draping my car in skanky, paint spattered rags in an attempt to protect it from the elements (everyone else on the street has one of those nice silver covers from Halfords - oh how the other half live). Bring back global warming.

January Fitness: I've hobbled myself. And it's only 8 weeks til the Harewood 10k. SEND HELP! I have been forced into a position where the only thing I can do with any real gusto is swimming. Which would be fine if I could do anything other than breast-stroke, and badly. I'm also a contact lense wearer so I end up craning my head out of the water so my lenses don't get flipped out by my own pathetic splashing. I tried taking my lenses out on Monday to see if I would swim more effectively, but ended up inadvertently peering at everybody around me. Imagine a mole cast into a pond peering helplessly at the perfectly capable fish swimming past it, as it flounders and eventually drowns. I then got out after five minutes, under the impression I had been swimming for thirty, because I couldn't read the (frankly enormous) clock.

What about you, spuds? Enjoy swimming? Think m83 are overrated tosh?Any idea what I should watch after the Sopranos? Tips on car de-icing? Thanks!

15 comments:

  1. BREAKING BAD should definitely be your next TV box set port of call - its bloody brilliant.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Goggles give me a headache! *WHINGE*

    I watched the first 4 episodes of Breaking Bad years ago and got bored to tears by it, but since then everyone says it's great. I'm going to have to do it, aren't I? Sam's watched them all and he says the first few are the weakest.

    Px

    ReplyDelete
  3. Breaking bad gets a LOT better around episode 5 of the first season, and by then you'll be at the stage where you might even shed a bit of a tear in the last episodes of the series (I did last night when we watched the end of the first one) but P, have you watched The Wire? It's totally different, but just as addictive...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Breaking Bad it is then! I watched the whole first season of the Wire and it was like pulling teeth. Couldn't understand a word they were saying either. Enunciate!

    Px

    ReplyDelete
  5. I was the same with the Wire, but then by the end I was crying, again. Seems to be a bit of a pattern here... also sometimes when dinner is ready I yell out 'Spider bags! Yellow tops! WMDs!' and it's HILARIOUS every time...I wouldn't know the drug-speak if it wasn't for the wire. Plus the theme tune is a Tom Waits song.

    ReplyDelete
  6. So obvs I will sing a Tom Waits song at Penaoke...

    ReplyDelete
  7. Can you sing it in his Cookie Monster voice? I will love you forever....

    Px

    ReplyDelete
  8. To be honest I was hooked from the first episode of BB, but the places it goes (and I'm only half way through season 2) are magnificent, shocking and beguiling. WATCH! It's funny, too. /fangirl

    ReplyDelete
  9. TV shows I'm loving:

    Game of Thrones: even if you find the fantasy setting off-putting it's well worth a try.

    Boardwalk Empire: Steve Buscemi.

    Blue Bloods: Police procedural-type stuff. Not too taxing. Makes me happy.

    Dexter: Best show currently on TV by an absolute mile.

    Six Feet Under: Best show not on TV anymore by an absolute mile.

    Walking Dead: ZOMBIES! But again, well worth giving a try even if you're not bothered about the undead.

    Sherlock: Duh. Moriarty is amazing.

    Mad Dogs: Really good; short, chaotic black comedy drama. Series 2 starts this week, I think.

    True Blood: Fucking ridiculous. Fucking ace.

    ReplyDelete
  10. GoT has been good, I'm looking forward to the next series, was impressed with Sherlock too. Walking Dead took a pole vault over the shark in the second episode of season 2 - have stopped watching it. I am similarly over True Blood and Dexter (although am thinking about skipping season 2 of Dexter and going back to it). Six Feet Under bored me to tears, as did Boardwalk Empire - sorry. I have a severely short attention span, I'm afraid. No patience at all - which is why I'm the only person in the world who doesn't love the Wire. Mad Dogs sounds good, not heard of it!

    Thanks for the tips guyssss

    Px

    ReplyDelete
  11. Pick up a float. Hold it in front of you. Kick. Up and down. And up and down.

    Trust me, it's epic leg workout. And bonus is that your legs are the only splashy bit, thus your eyes are safe. For extra toughness, hold the float vertical in the water so you're pushing against it.

    Love, your friendly neighbourhood swimming teacher

    K x

    ReplyDelete
  12. I didn't even KNOW you were a swimming teacher until today! I'm very impressed!

    Px

    ReplyDelete
  13. I qualified while at Uni to avoid bar work. I'm a spiller, bar work was never for me.

    I only teach on Saturdays now, and currently only kids. So there's LOADS of kicking with floats, with added pretending to be a rocket and/or superman (which you're welcome to do if you like!)

    K x

    ReplyDelete
  14. I know i'm reeeaaally late to this but... get onto Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Serious.ness. It's brilliant stuff. Danny Devito's in it too, but i'm not sure whether that's a selling point or not...

    Failing that, you can't beat a bit of Jam to mess you up a bit :-)

    ReplyDelete