Third Wheel

I consider myself quite lucky when it comes to my husband's TV viewing habits. Because, even more than me, Sam has absolutely no interest in sport.

None!

He doesn't support a football team, or even follow one. He has been known to refer to footballers as "kicky men" and goalies as "catchy men". Cricket is beyond him, and he gets bored and fidgety whenever I put athletics on. I've caught him watching darts, but I know it's only because it involves mental arithmetic.

This means that our TV schedule is free from the seemingly endless parade of sporting fixtures my friends seem to be bound by. The only time MoTD goes on is if I'm up early and fancy reminding myself what it all looks like (they seem to fall over and complain a lot more than they did when I was  little).

However. This is not to say Sam doesn't have another irritating televisual habit that somehow creeps into my viewing time. And he never asks to put it on, because he knows I hate it, so he'll wait until I'm not looking. The minute I go to make a cup of tea, close my eyes or pick up a paper, I'll look up again and THIS will be on:

Wheeler Dealers.

Discovery Realtime's finest second hand car renovation programme.

It appears to be on ALL THE TIME. God knows how, but Sam always manages to find it in the schedule. I'll come back into the room and beaming from the TV will be the familiar faces of  wideboy dealer Mike Brewer (he sells the cars) and lanky silver fox Edd China (the mechanic who fixes everything, and cheerfully tells you how. Step. By. Step).

"One day, when I need to change a piston on a Renault 5/reupholster a Mark 1 Golf/replace the cam belt on a TVR I'll know how to do it" he says "you just never know when that kind of thing will come in handy."

You really never do.

The programme started broadcasting in 2003 and has since racked up an impressive 9 series, with no end in sight. Plus, the repeated episodes seem to delight him even more.

"Haven't you seen the Ford Capri episode before?"

"Yeah, a few times, it's a really good one!"

There really is no way around it, I am going to have to make room in my life for Wheeler Dealers. To distract myself with Twitter while Sam makes goo-goo eyes at Edd (with a brain that must read like an encyclopedia of every Haynes Manual ever written, coupled with an affable approachability, China is man-crush gold).

Still, I wouldn't swap it for football. A lifetime watching overpaid boys running around, pulling each others tops and gobbing on the floor is NOT going to get the radiator in my Mazda changed. And for this I am grateful.

Long live the "fixy men".