Monday, 10 October 2011

The Colour Burple

You know it. It's somewhere between brown and purple. It's burple.

When I first bought my house, it was on every carpet downstairs. We got rid of it in the front room, which is now all lovely shiny wood floors...and then the recession hit, I lost my job, and DIY projects ground to a halt. The dining room (which I now have to run through to avoid looking at) is still burple-floored, with textured, yellowing wallpaper, and a set of pinky-beige curtains roughly three inches too short for the window they're supposed to cover.  It is not my favourite room in the house. Sometimes I wish it wasn't there at all.

Bloody burple. It's good for nothing but hiding dirt (especially if you habitually puke on the floor after mainlining Bourbons and Ribena). So when Sam suggested redecorating the dining room I jumped for joy. We agreed we wanted to repaint the walls a warm, rich red - so we would be FORCED to de-burple, in order to avoid killing our eyes with the violent colour juxtaposition.

Thing is, Sam likes bright primary colours, and I don't. Not on walls. So it was probably a (lazy) mistake on my part to let him buy the paint. "We'll see how it looks!" he said cheerfully. And then we did. It looked like a beautifully painted wall. A wall that just happened to be the colour of Mickey Mouse's pants. I got so grumpy about this, I went out and bought a much more muted, dark, classy shade. Slapped it on the wall.


...I accidentally painted my OWN WALL burple.

Burple with Mickey Mouse's pants showing through from the underneath.

Why are colour samples nothing like how they look on the wall, why did B&Q call this Rich Red when it is clearly aubergine, and why is DIY such a tedious pile of pointless?

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