Before I got made redundant from my TV job (nearly 2 and a half years ago) I was writing a fitness/lifestyle blog with a quietly impressive readership and an enthusiastic community. And I junked it all when I got the news about losing my job.
Because I couldn't mange to be upbeat all the time anymore. Couldn't do the 5-days-a-week posting without at least some of it being a tiny moan. Or a big, blank depressive nothing. It was a difficult point in my life, a time to start from scratch. I didn't want to inflict that on these lovely people who tuned in every day, and wrote reams of nice comments. I wanted to be funny and pithy and entertaining, not make people switch off their laptops and go and stick their heads in an oven.
Well, WHAT do you know.
The second career I was just managing to get underway has just about collapsed underneath me. There is no money left in the pot, and I am not managing financially anymore. I am in, effectively, the same position. Starting over. Considerably poorer than last time, and with even less of a clue what to do.
And the worst part of it is, I NEVER LEARNED TO READ.....
OK, OK, come back!
I'm not going to dump on you, lovely, cherished reader. And I'm not giving up writing on here. There may not be the same hundreds of people tuning in to this place every day, but there ARE people reading this thing. And maybe, just maybe, if I can write about my situation this time, I can learn to laugh at it. Because, really, it IS ridiculous. I am a hard worker and a compulsive, success-fixated tryer. If I can't work this thing out, we're all fucked.
So, you know, I'm going to let you know how it goes. This stupid career situation. In all its preposterous glory.
And I'm not going anywhere this time. Let's get that clear.