Wednesday, 14 March 2012

Lame Claims To Fame

I wasted yesterday afternoon on this site. It is brilliant. Oh come on, how many of you have sat politely listening as for the 282930th time your friend drunkenly wheels out the story about when they met some bloke off Hollyoaks? And when I say "met", I mean "saw from a distance".

Or maybe you are that friend. For the record, I am that friend.

Here are some of my personal tedious claims to fame. Hope you are sitting comfortably....


- When I was 6 I sent some of my drawings to Marcel Marceau, the late, great mime artist. He sent me a personal message back saying how much he liked them.


-My step-dad taught the Jam P.E. Apparently Bruce Foxton was good at football and Paul Weller was a pain in the arse - some things never change.


-My Uncle Nick used to play tennis with Virginia Wade. I think she tended to beat him.


-I wrote quips for Donal McIntyre on the morally dubious Big Sting programme.



-Brian Blessed was doing some voiceover work for a company I was interning for, and I had to phone him up once. He did a big, boomy laugh right at the end of the conversation - it was amazing. Sadly I did not have the courage to ask him if he would say "Gordon's Alive!"



-I had a cup of tea at my next-door neighbour's kitchen table with hardcore legend Ian McKaye


-Peanut from the Kaiser Chiefs helped me make honey and lemon for my sore throat before a gig once. It was my gig and he was working behind the bar. How times change..*


-I went to a party at Geoffrey Hughes' house (Onslo from Keeping Up Appearances/ Eddie Yeats from Corrie/ Twiggy from the Royle Family) and he tried to spread a rumour about me being in a French S&M band. No I don't know what that is either. To this day, one of the nicest famous people I have ever met.

Overcome with my lameness, I even submitted my most exciting claim to fame ever. If you were alternative in the 90s you'll like it.... (especially the ladies)... if it gets posted I'll let you know.

What are your lamest claims to fame?

*You'll find 90% of Leeds dwellers have a Kaisers story - I have at least ten even more boring ones.


15 comments:

  1. Are you really going to fill your study with stickers?? Please could I come and visit?

    My claim to fame is that I was a Countdown contestand but I got my arse kicked by a university professor.

    Am I allowed to say arse in the comments? Oh bugger, now I've said it twice. Sorry.

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    1. That's ace! Was it in the Whitely days?

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    2. That's amazing! Did you meet Susie Dent? Sam is in love with her, he has a signed picture. Sad.

      Px

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  2. contestand???!! and that might be why I lost! *hangs head in shame*

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  3. Mine is that Katherine Jenkins uncle is a close family friend. We got to meet her, when she was in concert, nearby, and she's really lovely.

    I have also met a politician, and know a story about him, which I cannot talk about on a public forum.

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    1. Now THAT sounds intriguing!!

      Px

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  4. In order of increasing lameness....

    I had a swimming lesson from Olympic swimming champion Duncan Goodhew, and have a photo of the occasion, featuring a very dubious multi-cloured swirly swimming hat (on me, not Duncan, he doesnt need a hat since he's bald as an egg).

    My Mum was best friends was Paul McCartney's sister at school, and Paul once pushed her on a swing. She didn't like him though, and she still thinks he's a prat.

    I spent New Years Eve 2010 with Daniel Radcliffe's girlfriend. And I didn't realise it until last week. She's extremely nice, although she did laugh at my inability to hum, I won't hold it against her because EVERYONE was laughing at that.

    Kx

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    1. I am obviously wowed at all of these (especially Duncan Goodhew - what a great 80s celebrity!) but you can't HUM? Is there a physiological reason for this? This is quite amazing.

      Px

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    2. I can TECHNICALLY hum (although I can't roll R's, much to the frustration of my singing teacher) it's just that when asked to hum under pressure I crack and can't get more than one note out without spluttering. By all accounts it is quite the spectacle.

      K x

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  5. Oh God, I'm 4 pages deep and still reading.

    My mum and dad were once in a motorway service station with me. Being aged 2 I was toddling round the place, as you do, and Billy Connolly spotted me and remarked to his companion that he wondered what his daughter was up to at that moment. I have no recollection of this incident.

    I saw someone at Glastonbury last year but I can't remember who. i seem to remember being quite impressed though. Good, eh?

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    1. I think that last one is the best one I've ever heard.

      Px

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  6. Haha love it! Insanely jealous of the Brian Blessed one in particular - legend.

    I thought I only had a couple then realised I could probably go on for days...

    My old German teacher was Tom Jones' cousin, in my teencrush haze I asked if he could get me Robbie Williams' autograph.

    I once, at the age of 5, sprinted off towards the Proclaimers having spotted them at Edinburgh airport leaving my rather bemused parents behind. For the record I'd still do that today.

    I used to have a guy in my class convinced that Paul McKenna was my uncle. I wish.

    And finally (because I have to stop otherwise I WILL go on for days)...

    My (actual) uncle came 2nd on the dancing dad's competition that Graham Norton ran on his TV show. He was beaten by an 80 year old man, he was robbed.

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    1. Dancing dads!! That would only be topped by knowing a contestant on Freak or Unique....

      Px

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  7. Oh, Penny, your claims to fame are brilliant! Here's a few of mine:

    When I was 13 Mark Morrison (he of 'Return of the Mack') fame performed at my school. My friend used my pen to get his autograph.

    My A-Level history teacher's grandmother was the cousin of Shania Twain's grandmother.

    A couple of years ago, my bf and I were road-tripping in Central US. Going through Missouri we stopped at the Mark Twain Museum. It was midweek and a slow day so there was just us and the Prince of Monaco (and his entourage!) in the museum. The museum staff were taking a lot of photos of their royal visitor and we made sure to place ourselves in the background of more than a couple!

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  8. I went to junior school with a lad whose next door neighbour knew Bill Oddie's dad.

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