Thursday 5 July 2012

Herding Hens

Some women thrive on organisation. They keep their shoes in boxes with photographs of them on the front. They alphabetise their spice rack. They have a spice rack with spices in it to alphabetise in the first place. They have tidy desks. TIDY DESKS! They pay the TV licence on time and they remember to put their tax disc in their car before they lose it.

I admire these women enormously. These are the women who should be organising hen parties. Not me.


I find it impossible to concentrate on more than one thing at once as it is - even on a good day I end up putting the bread in the fridge. Sometimes I forget I'm holding things and I drop them. I frequently check the time when I've got a full drink in my hand. I'm an idiot

I am coming into the last few days of organisation for my best friend's hen party, and I have hardly any hair left to pull out. As soon as I start thinking about what I need to do for the weekend, my brain holds up its hands and cries "I surrender!" and hides under a blanket. 

It won't tell me anything I need to do apart from pack the glitter. And a penis mug. 


That's not the worst part though. The worst part is that people are crap. You don't realise how crap people are until you try to organise a hen. There are literally four out of eighteen girls who have been any use at getting back to me about anything. Everyone else has required ten more chasing emails of increasingly forced politeness and a visit from a hired killer before they even tell me they're coming. Then when they do reply they're all snivelling apologies and you  feel like an evil boarding school headmistress who's trying to take all the fun out of life with all the emailing  and the organisation. You've never met these girls, and you already want to throttle them. 

People who have no problem with being bossy - they should organise hen parties. Not me.


I call on you now ladies, if you have any hen mails loitering in that inbox that need replying to - do the right thing and get back to them. That poor girl may be somebody who puts the bread in the fridge too.

She really wants to like you. You're not helping.

12 comments:

  1. Ach. Having organised or help organise more than one hen do I feel your pain. If it helps, it made me much more grateful to my own bridesmaids when it was my hen do, because I knew how hard they had worked to organise it all. And I helped them chase up the people who didn't respond as I knew how frustrating it was - can you call on the bride to do some chasing up too?

    You will have a lovely time though. And early on, work out who of the hens is an organiser (probably one of the four out of the 18 that *have* responded to you) and get them to help you move people from one place to the next/help sort out drinks money/tell people what time the taxis are coming or whatever. Don't do it all yourself!

    Good luck, and have a fantastic time!

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    1. That's a really good call Katy.... And I have to say I have a new found level of respect for the girls who have been fab about the whole thing. I do have the two other bridesmaids who have already helped with ideas, planning, booking the restaurant and sorting food shopping, so I'm not alone....although sometimes coordinating the delegation can be a bit hairy when youre all in different cities! It'll be a great weekend though, now to hand make twenty mix cds and covers....

      Px

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  2. Yep, I am there right now. 'Oh I'm so sorry! I meant to send you the deposit! I hope you didn't have to put it on your credit card' (I have). Pull it together, ladies.

    I'm sure it will be worth it. And I echo Katy's comment - delegate everything as soon as you get there. Good luck!

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    1. I'm so pleased we've had to pay nothing up front! I had a horrid experience with another hen involving money when i was unemployed... have learnt the hard way. Hope your girls get their act together Esme! It really will be worth it in the end

      Px

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  3. I hear you. I am one of those organised people. I have multiple spreadsheets and a hen party BLOG and does that make people respond and pay their money in a timely fashion? Does it f*ck. Grrr.

    Have fun, though! I want a full activity run-down, so I can steal all your ideas. Thanks.

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  4. I'm currently helping to organise my best friend's hen do, her sister is her MoH and Chief Hen Organiser, but she's not a natural organiser either and is finding it stressful (although she is doing amazingly frankly) so I'm like the reserve team, here to chase people up and be the badass bridesmaid if required. Luckily I used to work in publishing where I got very good at issuing passive aggressive demands that people meet deadlines for me!

    Have a amazing weekend P!

    K x

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  5. Ooh this made me giggle! I'm the person who always volunteers to host/organize the "hen" parties (love that name!) and the baby showers and whatnot but then as we get closer I always freak out because I'm in over my head, am terribly disorganized and have crap ideas for parties. Case in point: Allison's baby shower tomorrow. Commence running around like a chicken with my head cut off.

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  6. Ooh this made me giggle! I'm the person who always volunteers to host/organize the "hen" parties (love that name!) and the baby showers and whatnot but then as we get closer I always freak out because I'm in over my head, am terribly disorganized and have crap ideas for parties. Case in point: Allison's baby shower tomorrow. Commence running around like a chicken with my head cut off.

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  7. Penny this is brilliant, I didn't have enough time yesterday so I wanted to comment today. I'm enjoying hen do organising but mainly because it's with two others - one is artistic, so is doing things like sorting out decorations, made a pretty email invite to send out etc. The other one is confident and happy to deal with all the money and emailing everyone etc. And I'm in the background with my spreadsheet and my phone and email booking things and sorting out the organisation. If I'd had it all to do on my own I just wouldn't have had the time.

    As with wedding RSVPS, from now I'm going to be an amazing hen do invitee and reply and pay promptly...it's so disappointing that some people don't realise how much work goes into it and how they are messing you around (unintentionally)!

    Let us know how it goes! xxx

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  8. I dread organising my first hen and my job is to organise things. This makes me reluctant to organise anything when not at work if I can help it. Good luck. I aim to be better at replying now to save people like you lots of hassle - thank you!

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  9. People really are rubbish aren't they? I'm a natural born organiser, and get stressed out when people don't reply, if I can reply to emails within a few days, why can't they? I was in absolute disbelief that I even had to chase TWENTY FIVE RSVPs for our wedding last year. The invitation was from my parents which I think makes it even worse, when it someone's parents inviting you to the most expensive party of their lives, then I think the least you can do is respond within the allotted time scale. I ended up sending out a mass facebook on the RSVP deadline day appealing for RSVPs as we had to confirm numbers with the caterer and it looked like 40 of my friends weren't coming. (which I didn't want to do, no-one wants to have to resort to facebook when they have lovingly hand-crafted 120 invitations). The older generation all replied within good time, so I think it's a thing of our generation. And we're in an age when responding has never been easier, especially since your organising was done via email, all the girls need to do is click reply to your emails, it's not like they have to write an actual letter and go and post it, or go down to the bank to transfer money. It can all be done online. So there is no excuse! Rant over.

    My bridesmaids did an excellent job of organising my hen do, though I think they had similar experiences, with my sister forking out hundreds of pounds on accommodation when people hadn't paid. looking forward to the hen do write-up though, I'll be interested to hear if there were any marshmallow games! Hope you all had a lovely weekend.

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    1. Thanks for your comment - it's really hurtful when it's your wedding, I remember it well. At least with a hen you don't know everybody so you can't really take it personally! I think the ease of communication these days actually makes people lazier more than anything. It's too easy to put off getting back to the organisers.

      We never did the marshmallow game- we didn't get a private room in the restaurant that we were promised so we had to put it on ice. I'm waiting for my sister-in-law to get engaged now so we can do it at hers! It's too brilliant not to use.

      Px

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