Annoyingly, these days I can't really threaten to walk out when the washing up doesn't get done.
Apparently, getting married means you have to sit down and be patient and work out these "issues" into sensible systems, instead of throwing your other half's records into a box and hurling them into the street every time he/she does something to piss you off.
Why is this so? Why are we not born into harmonious partnerships where things just get done without the need for tedious discussion and compromise? Tedious discussion and compromise are SO boring. They require tenacity and patience with the mundane. Put simply, they suck like war films and golf.
Even worse, when you're in a relationship where one person does 90% of household duties, the other person tends to be quite happy with the situation. They can't work out why anybody would want to sit down and discuss altering this marvellous status quo where they get to leave things where they are dropped, and pretend the laundry basket doesn't exist. Why would they? Every day is party time when the bathroom cleans itself! Let's just not talk about it.
All this is fine when you're in the first flush of love. You skip with delight to pick up your darling's rancid underwear. But then along come difficult working hours, children, and more responsibility. And then you might suddenly find yourself bitter, twisted, and liable to stove your partner's head in with the Dyson.
And who wants blood on their hands?
Let's nip the problem in the bud.
We need some strategy.
Laying a logical framework over issues imbued with rage and emotion is a technique that has been used for years in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. It allows us to step back and view uncomfortable personal relationship thingies more rationally, and come to a fair(ish) solution. Because partners are supposed to be, well, partners.
Like in a business.
A successful business does not take over the world by throwing Visage LPs into the front garden.
I have just finished reading this book.
It promises to use economic theory principles to solve common marital issues, in a practical and objective manner. It is quite fun, and definitely less saccharine and irritating then other self-help books I have read ten pages of and thrown into the front garden (on top of the vinyls).
It does try to be self-consciously quirky and different (banging on and on about its Groundbreaking, Expensive and Exhaustive Marriage Survey- le snore), but we'll let it off, as it makes some fair points, and gives a refreshing angle on the tired old problems everybody bumps up against when they try to make a life with another human being.
Plus it overrides my ridiculous and hysterical overreactions to Things That Just Aren't Fair. This is a good thing.
I would recommend it.
Now I just need to get Sam to read it.