"What? I was just checking me Facebook."
He thought his life was as simple as could be, hanging out with his people and making nests in their clean laundry pile.
Then, one day, along came a naughty little kitten called Spooky, who was full of mischief.
"I have definitely NOT just been jumping in your peace lily"
Granville's people thought Spooky would be a fun playmate for Granville, seeing as he was a sensitive sort of boy who didn't like being by himself. But Granville wasn't very sure about this. Why would anybody want a kitten? Kittens are so stupid, running about all over the place. What a ridiculous little animal this kitten was. See how she falls off the sofa as she tries to climb up it! What a little fool.
But Spooky desperately wanted to be friends with Granville, and she couldn't understand why he didn't enjoy her jumping on him. Spooky thought everybody ought to love being jumped on. But Granville didn't. What a grumpy old cat he was!
"If I hide behind this cushion the grumpy cat can't see me...."
Granville wasn't sure about having Spooky cat near him, because you just never knew when she might jump on your tail. So whenever she came close he would run away like a big sulkypants, and try and find somewhere more peaceful to sit.
Spooky quickly realised that Granville didn't like little bouncy kittens, and although she liked bouncing, she wanted to be Granville's best friend more. So whenever he came near, she would sit as desperately still as possible (this took a lot of effort and concentration) so he wouldn't run away.
"Must....sit....still....must....restrain....urge to bounce....ngggggg"
Eventually, Granville got used to Spooky sitting there, quietly. He wondered if maybe this little stupid fluffy thing his people had brought home might not be too bad after all. And finally he decided, as long as she wasn't too much of an idiot, he might let her hang out with him. Just sometimes.
"Alright then stupid kitten. But I'm still not sharing my biscuits with you, and you still stink."
EDIT: I'm also over at Any Other Wedding today.....can't believe they're not sick of me yet.